One Size Fits All Lyrics

Inca Roads
---- -----

Did a vehicle
Come from somewhere out there
Just to land in the Andes?
Was it round
And did it have
A motor
Or was it
Something
Different

Did a vehicle
Did a vehicle
Did a vehicle
Fly along the mountains
And find a place to park itself

Or did someone
Build a place
To leave a space
For such a vehicle to land

Did a vehicle
Come from somewhere out there
Did a vehicle
Come from somewhere out there
Did the indians, first on the bill
Carve up the hill

Did a booger-bear
Come from somewhere out there
Just to land in the Andes?
Was she round
And did she have a motor
Or was she something different

Guacamole Queen
Guacamole Queen
Guacamole Queen
Guacamole Queen
At the Armadillo in Austin Texas, her aura,
Or did someone build a place
Or leave a space for Chester's Thing to land
*(Chester's Thing... on Ruth)*
Did a booger-beer
Come from somewhere out there
Did a booger-bear
Come from somewhere out there
Did the Indians, first on the bill
Carve up her hill
On Ruth
On Ruth
That's Ruth


Can't Afford No Shoes
----- ------ -- -----

*heh-heh-heh...*
Have you heard the news?
*(News? What news?)*
Can't afford no shoes
*(Get a good deal on tape)*
Have you heard the news?
*(News? Can't afford a paper)*
Can't afford no shoes
*(Hi-yo-hi)*

Went to buy some cheap detergent
Some emergent nation
Got my load
Got my load
That i stowed

Well, well
Hey lawdy mama,
Can't afford no shoes
Maybe there's a bundle of rags that I could use
Hey anybody,
Can you spare a dime
If you're really hurtin', a nickel would be fine
Hey everybody
Nothin' we can buy
Chump Hare Rama, ain't no good to try
Recession
Depression


Po-Jama People
------- ------

Some people's hot
Some people's cold
Some people's not very
Swift to behold
Some people do it
Some see right through it
Some wear pyjamas
If only they knew it

The pyjamas people are boring me to pieces
They make me feel like I am wasting my time
They all got flannel up 'n down 'em
A little trap-door back aroun' 'em
An' some cozy little *footies* on their mind

Po-jama people!
Po-jama people, people!
Lawd, they make you sleepy
With the things they might say
Po-jama people!
Po-jama people, people!
*Mother, Mary 'n Jozuf*, wish they'd all go away!

Po-jama people!
It's a po-jama people special...
Take one home with you & save a dollar today
Po-jama people!
Po-jama people, people!
Wrap 'em up
Roll 'em out
Get 'em out of my way


Florentine Pogen
---------- -----
She was the daughter of a wealthy
Florentine Pogen
Read 'em 'n weep
Was here adjustable slogan

She was a debutante daisy
With a color-note organ
Deep in the street
She drove a '59 Morgan

That's the kinda step she takes
When her hot breaks hot breaks
That's the kinda sound she makes
*(ooh, let go uh me)*
When her crab cakes
*(Arf arf arf)*

She didn't like it when her fan belt
Shrunk & got shorter
*(Ointment)*
Battery leak could nearly cost her a quarter

She didn't want to stay home
An' watch the pestle go mortar
Later she speaks
On how Perellis might court her

*Na-na-na-noo, etc.*

She was the daughter
Ah-ah-ahhh
Of a wealthy
Florentine Pogen
Po-oh-wo-oh-oh
Po-oh-wo-oh-oh
Po-oh-wo-oh-oh
Ga-ya-ee-annnn

*Read 'em 'n weep*
*Read 'em 'n weep*
*Read 'em 'n weep etc.*

Chester's go-rilla
She go quack
Chester's go-rilla
She go oink
Chester's go-rilla
She go moo
Chester's go-rilla
She go
*Hratche-plche*
*Hratche-plche*


Evelyn, A Modified Dog
------ - -------- ---

Evelyn, a modified dog
Viewed the quivering fringe of a special doily
Draped across the piano, with some surprise

In the darkened room
Where the chairs dismayed
And the horrible curtains
Muffled the rain
She could hardly believe her eyes

A curious breeze
A garlic breath
Which sounded like a snore
Somewhere near the Steinway (or even from within)
Had caused the doily fringe to waft & tremble in the gloom

Evelyn, a dog, having undergone
Further modification
Pondered the significance of short-person behavior
In pedal-depressed panchromatic resonance
And other highly ambient domains...

Arf she said


San Ber'dino
--- --------

She lives in Mojave in a Winnebago
His name is Bobby, he looks like a potato

She's in love with a boy
>From the rodeo
Who pulls the rope on the chute
When they let those suckers go

He's a slobberin' drunk at the Palomino
They give him thirty days in

Well there's forty-four men
Stashed away in tank "C"
An' there's only one shower
But it don't apply to Bobby

You may think they're
Dumb an' lonely
But you're wrong
'Cause their love is strong
Stacked-up hair
An' a cheap little ring
They don't care
'Cause it don't mean a thing

Looka there...
They don't care

Best-est way that
They can feel-o
Out on the highway
Rollin' a wheel-o
He's her *Tootsie*
She's for real-o
Trailer park heaven
It's a real good deal-o
Real good deal-o
Real good deal-o
Real good deal-o

The rest of their lives
In
Gonna spend the rest of their lives
In
The rest of their lives
In
Come on with me
Come on with me
Come on with me
Down in
Just 60 miles, 60 miles
Down the freeway
They got some dark green air
An' you can choke all day
That's right!
Gonna spend the rest of their lives
Rest of their lives
Rest of their lives

Say now
Ain't talkin' 'bout Fontana
Ain't talkin' 'bout uh uh
Ain't talkin' 'bout uh uh
Ain't talkin' 'bout uh uh
Ain't talkin' 'bout the Redlands, no no
ZULCH is the auto works
I'm telling you
That's where they take
All the cars that they hurt
Come on and let's all go down to
Ooo-ooo
Ooo-ooo
Ooo-ooo
Let's-a go down down down
Down in
Wouldja b'lieve it
San Ber'dino
San Ber'dino
(*Got to call it*)
San Ber'dino
(*C'mere*)
San Ber'dino
etc., etc., etc.
The rest of their lives
In

Oh Bobby, I'm sorry you gotta head like a potato
I really am


Andy
----

Is there anything good inside of you
If there is, I really wanna know
Is there anything
Good inside of you
If there is
I really wanna
Know
Is there anything
Good inside of you
If there is
I really wanna
Know
Is there?

Is there any-thaaaang good inside of you
If there is, I really wanna know-woh-oh-oh-oh
Is there any-thaaaang good inside of you
If there is, I really wanna know,
really wanna know...

Something
Anything
Something
Anything

Show me a sign
If you don't mind
Show me a sign
If you don't mind

Do you know what I'm really telling you
Is it something that you can understand
Do you know what I'm really telling you
Is it something that you can understand
Do you know what I'm really telling you
Is it something that you can understand
Do you know what I'm really telling you
Is it something that you can understand


Andy de vine
Had a thong rind
It was sublime
But the wrong kind
Andy de vine
Had a thong rind
It was sublime
But the wrong kind

Have I aligned
With a blown mind
Wasted my time
On a drawn blind
Have I aligned
With a blown mind
Wasted my time
On a drawn blind

Oh ...


Sofa No. 2
---- --- -

I am the heaven
I am the water
I am the dirt beneath your rollers
I am your secret smut & lost metal money
down your cracks

I am your cracks & crannies

I am the clouds
I am embroidered
a am the author of all tucks & damask piping
I am the Chrome Dinette
I am the Chrome Dinette
I am the eggs of all persuasion
I am all days & nights
I am all days & nights
I am all days & nights
I am all days & nights
I am here
And you are my sofa
I am here
And you are my sofa
I am here
And you are my sofa